Why are handjobs necessary in class?
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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