she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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