You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
