i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
My vagina is officially offended.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize