the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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