oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
