we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
