On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
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