Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
