i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
