You can't special order awesome
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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