so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
