I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
