Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Did I show you my penis last night?
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Panties = found
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
