honey bunches of taint.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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