wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Randomize
