I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
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