i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize