This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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