We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Randomize