so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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