I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
There r osticjed everywhere
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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