Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
