So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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