the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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