If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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