forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
