wake up i wanna do it froggy style
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Randomize
