So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
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