So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
