Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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