I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
