when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
