Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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