he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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