haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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