dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
