Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
