She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
