So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize