He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
