so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
im calling her cock vulture from now on
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Randomize