I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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