heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
