Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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