i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
