i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Randomize
