I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
