And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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