You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
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