It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
And my parents said I crawled through the house
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
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