i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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