The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Randomize
