If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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