She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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