It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
