This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
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