So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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