I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Liz is crying about burritos again.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
