I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
