Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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