did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
