Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
as a side note pls kill me
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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